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Feb. 26th, 2010

It's been a while since I have last posted. This is probably due to the fact that I have had time to think in more than 1 or 2 sentence blurbs or tweets or facebookings. Alot has been going on and while it may not seem like much to others, progress is being made. Due to the nature of our system, progress comes in incremental processes that take longer than any reasonable person can reasonably anticipate.

I have taken a huge interest in non-video type games. I think it really has to do with being able to be more social with people. There is something about physically desemating your enemy in the form of hard plastic and cardboard that is often missed in the bits of 1s and 0s.

I am greatful for the friends that I have and the friends I continue to make along the way.

Well, Well, Well...

It's been a while since I have posted anything on this blog. I have been mostly using Face Book, as it lends itself easily to the quick "hey, look at what I'm doing" liner or to see my friend's stats on Mafia Wars. I do not play Mafia Wars or really any other Face Book game. In recent news, I am going through some life changes. I new in the back of my mind, siad changes would likely happen, but I never knew when. I moved out of my house to start a new chapter, leaving people behind- but it's for the best. I am not sure what I am supposed to feel about the situation. I really don't feel anything. I know that I want it to be over as soon as possible, but I am realizing that it will take longer than expected. People ask me if I regret anything- I am not sure. If I could some how look into the future, I probably would have done things differently. But If I had, I would have not gained any of life's experiences. I have noticed a lot of sympathy being spent in my favor- but I'm not sure how to feel about this either. Maybe it's the reaction people feel when they don't know what they're suppose to feel and to show support. I appreciate that. What I want to get out of the way is that it's not anyone thing that anybody did- but it's a combination of things that we both did - to lose faith, trust and love in one another. Innocent lives will certainly be affected. But innocent lives are always affected when there is a sudden change of what they are somewhat a part of.

I was asked if I hated the person involved- No. Hate requires spending time and energy on the past or on things that cannot be changed- and that is what I want to avoid as much as possible. Also I am receiving ill advice by co-workers who think I should fight it out and demand to get some physical possessions back that I may have left behind. I don't really care about those items, thus they were left behind. Music can always be re-downloaded, TV's can always be repurchased over time, etc. I learned a while ago, that possessions do not define someone as a person-

I am thankful for friends who are willing to look passed this and continue on as normal. I am thankful for meeting new people that I can really share my interests and emotions with. I am thankful for those who whish to stick by me as they always have, and those who wish to enter this journey with me a new.


Last thursday, I graduated with Bachleor of Science degree in Information Systems Security. The cermony was nice, the cap and gown costume fit. I am anxious to get into the field and my foot in the door. I have trying to tweek my resume, but I am comming up short on the one thing that employers want right now... experience.  I am hoping that I can sell myself just enough, that I can learn on the job.  It is one of those fine balancing acts of perseverence and patience.


I have been asked recently why am I makinig decisions or taking oppurtunities that are not "typical jeff". It took me by suprise because... well am I really that typical?  Alot of things has do with the fear of letting things to just past by without knowing their outcomes.  Take my recent venture in skydiving.  I immediately siad no, because that is the typical thing to say. I then thought...e rrr   obsessed over it for weeks. I finally took the chance, and I found it to be a real satisfying experiance,and obviously nothing bad or fatal happend.  This is really the first time that I did something on my own for myself without much convincing.   I guess you could say that it sparked something inside of me, maybe a bit of confidence that I can really do anything.  So as oppurtunities present themselves, I have to do something-- or in some cases I have to make oppurtunities.

I am graduating soon, I know that I do not like my current job. I found a field that I would be most interested in, I am now choosing to take steps to prepare myself for a career.  Even though it could not go anyware, and I will have yet another student loan to worry about: but the on the other hand,  the pay off could be huge.


Okay, so on Saturday, June 11th 2009  I decided it would be great idea to jump out of an airplane at 13,000 ft.   I am not exactly sure why I decided to do this. Maybe I am looking for a bit more sense of adventure in my life and to do something for myself.  So when my friend Aaron asked if I would like to take the plunge with him and a few friends for his birthday, I immediately siad "No, way".  but then after a couple weeks of seriuosly thinking about it and talking with some people that were in definate support of me doing it, i changed my mind to "Yes".
It turned to be quite the experience.  It was nothing like anything I could have thought it could be like and I think that anyone who has thought about doing it, should go for it. It was a beautiful day,  and after a few minutes of training and pairing up with an experienced instructor (who became ultimately attached to you and the one who did all of the work)  we were off!!.   I had a camera guy with me as well..  so I have a video but it's not in a format yet that I can upload it to anything.     After we reached the 13,000ft and I tried to quickely remember how to extend my arms and arch my back.   The door flew open.  I smiled for the camera, and then we jumped out!!.  

Free falling at 120 miles per hour for 8,000 ft is much different then say a high dive or even a rollar coaster.. It doesn't feel like anything other than a bunch of wind plastering against your face.   Then the parachute deployed, but soon after that the motion sickness started to kick in.  People who know me, I can hardly take a sharp turn without feeling overwhelmed with nausea.  My instructor was very cool about it , this must happen alot.  after we landed, I did get sick.. but thankfully that part was ultimately edited out of the video.

All in all, I don't regret doing it and I would definatly do it again in the future.. this time better prepaird with some motion sickness medication or whatever. It was well worth it.


This is 1 of 2 CONs that I've been  going  to every year for the past 3 years.  My wfie, akillianna  and I go together, but we really don't see much of eachother for the duration. I happy with this, becuase we see eachother every day and CON (insert convention title here), is a place where I am in a place where I can enjoy my interests with other people who enjoy the same.  I am glad to see more Zombie themed panels, movies, party rooms this year.  I spent most of my time in the Zombie Arcade getting my butt kicked by a group of 15 year olds in the Left 4 Dead tournaments.   The Reanimation fluid (zombie themed alcoholic bevs) did not help much either. But nevertheless I had a good time.   I enjoyed lstening to the panels, especially the websdesign one. No I am not a web designer,  but it was very informative and the presentation was very entertaining for those people who either are or want to get into web design and even those who are paranoid against zombie rats.

I was sick with a cold unfortuantly, so I had missed out on all of the big Saturday night stuff, but my body was screaming for rest.  My new favorite author for the time is Brian Keene.  I got a Devil Slayer graphic novel that was written by him autographed.  Most of my friends are big gamers, this is something that I am not.  Maybe it's my aspergers, but I cannot ever seem to wrap my brain around rpg's or larps or anything like that. I have attempted , and sometimes I think, yea I could do this.. but my brain says NO!!. I think it's the social element that I get extremely unconfortable with.

Next year, I will definatly be in costume.  akillianna pulled off a fabulous BSG  vipor pilot this year.  So I am looking to an Alucard costume, from Hellsing (anime) that way I can wear it both to Anime Detour and Convergence.  YAY.


There and Back Again

Chuck and I made it back from Indiana last night around 6:30pm.   The weather was great and people were friendly for the most part.   The drive took a little under 10 hours.  The drive was very smooth, only had to fill up my tank twice ( 4 times for the whole trip).   Our hotel was in Indianapolis.  First impressions -  "This place does not believe in sidewalks!! and The food is awesome, but over an hour for a sandwich? C'mon!! (Dennys)".

We went and saw Janes Addiction perform with Nine Inch Nails and Sweet Sweeper Social Club (Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine).  The venue was The Verizon Wireless Ampitheater in NoblesVille. First Impressions:  "This looks alot like Maple Grove"   and  "Another Line?? (after waiting 3 hours in line to get into the show, another line to actually get into the gated floor area). 

The venue was awesome, outdoors and the seated floor area was very small. This made watching the performances have a very intimate feel.. We were about 10 feet from the stage,

You were allowed to bring in camera's (consumer quality of course).  So I got plenty of pictures of the show.    All in all it was fabulous.

Useless Heart

It is morning now. My body is weak is torn. I stumble up the hill with the fainted taste of the night before lingering still.
My senses are overwhelming, the distance is a blur.  But I am focused and determined.
I can almost make out the image of you bringing me in close with your extending arms
I call your name, but all you hear is muffled distored noise
my head is full with the smell of your tears as you pass your heart to me
I try to say the things I have always wanted to say,
but I am left to devour.....  I am zombie.
Well, I am here in my new ofice.  It's about a 5 - 10 minute drive depending on the stop lights.  This makes a world of difference from the 45 - 1 hour commute.  I am right next to Brook Dale mall with a BK and Caribou (this will be great) and a Subway to boot!.   A few minor set backs like my badge not working until later this afternoon and my voice mail is offline for the moment. Other than that It's extremely quite and most of the people I have met are friendly.

BK is carring limited edition Star Trek glasses from the movie.  I have gone to 3 different places and they all carry the whole collection except for the one that I want.   Spock-  as it has leonard nemoy on it..  oh well.   I am looking at 4 white walls that could use some decorating.  I have displayed my action figures on a file cabinet, so atleast I have some flavor.

that's all for now,   back to work



Today is my last day here in the St. Paul office.  I am being transferred to Brooklyn Center. It should be nice as it is about 5 minute drive from my house.  Right now, I am the only one in my "unit" that is on the opposite end of everyone else.  So moving to another building shouldn't be any different.  Nothing else as far as job duties change, just the phyiscal location. But still people that I have not even really talked to are or say they are sad to see me go.  Strange. 

Other stuff-- Graduation is 3 months away.  After this I have decided that I want to go into Computer Forensics. So I will be looking for more specialized training courses and certifications soon. 

I kind of upgraded my phone-   I still have the G1 and still have Android, but I have the Developer's edition wich is kick ass. Because Andriod is open source and is held under the GPL,  the source code is made available and freely distrubted.  You can go to Google's Android website, and download the Android software stack and if you know Java or any other programming language you can play around with it.  Pretty much the Dev edition is all of the new features that developers are working on and hopefully some will be pushed out to the public... but some don't so it's kind of nice to see and use what may not ever come to light.    The Dev phone sells for retail $399 and is not supported by anyone other than other Andriod Developers.   But because the software is free,  I just loaded it on my phone.  Here are new features that I have and hopefully will be pushed out to the public soon to make it a real Iphone Killer

---Video recoring,  multitouch, auto rotation, voice commands (you can use this to open up any of your applications installed), virtual keyboard, copy and paste,  and too much other stuff to spend an entire day at work playing around with.